The first thing to note with autism and aggressive behavior is that it is a myth that this type of behavior is caused by autism. Aggressive behaviors and actions may be from the inability to speak in an effective manor. The child with autism may not be able to convey his or her feelings and concerns.
To deal with aggression a parent needs to consider what is an acceptable behavior. If the parent themselves are quick to anger than this may be an acceptable form of communication. A child with autism may see the world differently than a typical child. To gain control of situations at home a child may resort to aggression and anger. If this is not a fitting form of communication then there are ways this behavior can be changed.
Allowing a child to make some choices in day to day activities (without giving total control – especially choices that directly benefit the child, such as choosing a particular color of shirt to wear) can help lessen the child’s need for total control with aggressive behavior, and still allow the child some control. The personal control can help a child feel in control of things in their lives. A child may not benefit from having to control and decide each and every aspect of their lives as this can often lead to confusion and worry. A good, careful balance of parental direction and a child’s decision making can be a great way to control and effectively deal with aggression.